I started taking breaks from social media for Lent my sophomore year. I hated how I was constantly refreshing my social media and felt like I needed to know what everyone else was doing. The breaks were very nice, I had more time for myself, more time to think, and I really needed that. Unfortunately, the minute I went discontinued my break, I went straight back to how I was. I found myself on fellow classmates profiles, and I felt like I was comparing myself to them. I wondered why my life was not as interesting or as fabulous.

Then the summer came and I found myself obsessively checking my social media accounts. I would get excited when I received a notification or when someone would tag me in a picture. I needed to be seen everywhere I go. It got to the point where I had to post a picture whenever I would be out somewhere. Finally, senior year started, and I had started to feel annoyed with my social media platforms. I realized how pointless most of the content on social media was. I was sick of feeling dull in comparison and I was tired of wasting time reading about how bad someone’s day was. Everything was so negative. I was done with it.

I deleted my social media again around Thanksgiving. I had so much time for myself, my friends and school. It went really well, and then I downloaded the apps during winter break. I was definitely not on my social media nearly as much as I had been months before, but I had still invested a lot of my time into social media. There came a turning point when I noticed some of my friends were not having fun with me unless they found the activity “instagramable.” My friends could be having the worst night ever, then post a picture about how fun it was. I started to rethink my friendships and concluded that without social media tying us together, we would not be friends.

I took a huge step and deleted all of my instagram pictures. This was what I had worked on for years. I used to need the likes, the comments and the tagged pictures. I realized that my social media self was not me. It was who I wanted other people to view me as. I still have yet to redownload my Instagram, but when I do I plan on only posting pictures of times I was genuinely happy in. I am really happy I do not need social media to be a part of me anymore. I think it is okay to not be on the radar at all times and I hope others can learn to take a break and look at themselves too.