I came across the quote on Pinterest that said “When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of all the reasons to be positive. There is always someone who has it worse.”  

In theory, this quote sounds beautiful; it reminds people to focus on the positives in life, and somehow it will outshine the negatives. But in reality this quote only diminishes the feelings of those who have struggled by reminding them of what could be worse. The mindset of “someone always having it worse” is toxic because it compares peoples’ problems without taking into account the feelings associated. This mindset is so common in today’s world, but it is both toxic to oneself and others. 

In today’s society we live in a circle of comparisons, whether that be money, status or appearance, people are constantly looking at others. That in itself is toxic, but it has now come to a point where we are comparing the pain and problems we deal with in our everyday lives. Someone always has it worse is not false, because somewhere in the world people are starving or dying, so yes, someone does have worse. That does not mean people are not entitled to their own feelings, nor should they be minimized. 

“I think comparing your problems to others can be toxic and you can get hurt. It makes you feel guilty when you don’t have a reason to be. If you’re dealing with depression, but you keep saying there’s people starving, they have it worse, but you are diminishing your own problem when in reality it’s serious. It’s okay to feel bad sometimes,” Elle Schilling (12) said.  

There are those who go through traumatic experiences and are susceptible to severe depression, and there are some who suffer from depression with no apparent cause. Both parties are diagnosed with depression, with the same amount of pain, yet in the eyes of the public, only those who can link their depression to an apparent cause are allowed to speak up. 

Drowning in seven feet of water is the same as drowning in twenty feet of water, and when someone is drowning, they need help. We all live in the same world, yet we lead very different lives; things that may seem small to some people can be someone else’s entire world. I learned as a child to try to walk in someone else’s shoes when I do not understand where they are coming from.

“I think one of the worst things you can say is ‘at least blank didn’t happen’. It makes their problem insignificant when it could be destroying them on the inside. You never know what’s going on in someone’s head, so be kind,” Schilling said. 

Not only do we pass on this mindset to others, we also do it to ourselves, probably without even realizing it. Some people do it in small ways, where they think they can’t be upset over a C, because at least it is not an F. Or others feel their problems are miniscule compared to those across the world who are starving. I think it is harder to change one’s own toxic mindset compared to the toxic words of others. You can just ignore those who belittle your problems, lbut it is a lot harder to ignore your own thought process, especially if it’s the way you grew up. All our lives, the adults around us have reminded us of the hardships they went through as kids whenever they mistook our distress for complaining. Now there are a bunch of teens dealing with serious mental health issues in silence. Everyone is entitled to the way they feel, regardless of what those around them are saying. 

“Whatever emotions you are experiencing [are] extremely real in that moment, regardless of what is happening in the world around you. Comparing those problems to the problems of another or a problem the world is facing at the time takes away from your truth,” Kearsten Eastridge (12) said.