Coloring outside of the lines


Jade Mehok, Design Editor

“I got adopted when I was exactly three weeks old by my grandparents. It all started when my grandma and grandpa would come over as see me covered in bruises as an infant. Then, shortly after, I got my skull fractured by my mother about a week later. She got frustrated with my constant crying and threw me on a wooden floor. I was adopted because my mother was extremely abusive, and my father was not always around to care for me. He also could not raise me and support me at the same time. He had been in a band, on a world tour, when he found out my mother was pregnant. Long story short, my dad was the performer, my mom was the groupie, and here I am. They both did not plan the pregnancy and I was going to be aborted… but they finally decided against it. Honestly, I’ve truly always known I was adopted. Some of my earliest memories are going to visitation centers while my birth-giver asks me questions about school. At the time I didn’t think too much about it…I just thought I got an hour to color outside of the lines. You could say that I know my birth parents. My dad is involved in my life and he stops by just about every week. But I have not kept in touch with my birth-giver. I actually haven’t talked to her since I was seven. But she tried to get together for lunch a few times in the past years and I declined because I’ve hated her for many years. I don’t look at my adoptive parents differently. Parents are the people that raise, love, support and care for you. I love them just as much as any other kid loves their parents… maybe even more because they’ve done so much for me. Not many people know this about me… only some of my closest friends know. But, no it does not make them think of me differently because they know it is a part of who I am. But, it causes some daily life problems. When I have an issue with friends, school, or myself I don’t necessarily have a mother or father figure that can show me empathy and help me decide which move to make next. I love my grandmother and grandfather with my whole heart, but they don’t always get me completely. I think it’s because of the large age difference and how we grew up in different points in time. We are very different and we have very different mindsets. But when they can help me, they always do. Even though we sometimes see the world differently I love them with my whole heart. This has definitely changed my life in so many ways. I remember trying to paint my nails and do my makeup for the first time by myself. Most girls get to share that experience with their moms, and I did not. For a long time, I would dwell on the fact that I didn’t have my real mom to look up to and I have been upset for a long time. But that one experience paved the way for me to become more independent and a stronger individual. This is absolutely not a problem at all. Adoption is such a positive thing for children and parents. And I highly encourage it because you can change someone’s entire life.

I do often find myself thinking about my mom. I am a curious woman and I constantly wonder what kind of person she is, what features of hers do I have, and if I will see her again. I want to know my background and my ancestors from my mom’s side. I want to know about the life my mom is living today. But I also have had lots of hatred towards her because of how she treated me when she was in my life. I’ve matured because of the situation and I tell myself everything happens for a reason. Of course, I would adopt a child. I am definitely considering the option. I would tell everyone who is not okay with not knowing their birth parents that everything I needed to hear growing up: Everything happens for a reason. And every experience shapes you into the person you are today. You just have to be thankful you are here today… no matter how you got here. And it all depends on what perspective you’re looking from. And most importantly you are loved by someone…even if it’s yourself. I do not have any other friends that are adopted, but I hope to meet some. It makes me feel at home when I can relate to others on a personal level. I would tell my birth parents that I forgive them. And I am grateful for the way my life is being unraveled. I am moving forward and I am ready to see what the future brings. My parents chose me and I’m glad they did. I have two loving grandparents that give me their hearts every single day. And I love them more than I’ve ever loved anything else. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if this had not happened. After all…my life is just like coloring outside of the lines. It’s messy, but it makes my picture unique.”